Me: Toby, I have to ask you a question.
Toby: What?
Me: You ever see Roots?
Toby: No, why?
Me: Well, there's this scene, where...
Toby: Kunta Kinte?
Me: Damn.

I really wanted to call him Kunta Kinte. But I can't if someone else is already doing it. Lame.

Right, my post yesterday about Sri. Nick brought one of the desks from the end-of-hall lounge into his room so Dillon could play WoW in there. Sri came over and made him put it back. As though they intended to keep the desk, or perhaps burn it. Cockbag.

I've noticed that Grim's ties are never centered. Curious.

My oatmeal doesn't taste right today...

Bad omen?

Lost is dangerous. I recently met two guys: Scott and Steve. I always get their names mixed up. I feel like this wouldn't happen if I didn't have that running gag in my head.

Speaking of which, Scott told me a story the other day. I'll relate it here...
So one day Scott went to Taco Bell, where he ordered a number of tacos. Going in to pick them up, he noticed that one of the ladies behind the counter was pretty attractive. He gets his tacos, sits down in the dining area, and starts eating. After a few minutes, a ruckus can be heard from inside the Taco Bell, culminating in the hot taco chick shouting "I quit!" and storming out. As she passes Scott's table she pauses and says "By the way, I spit in your tacos."
Scott quickly takes stock of the situation: This girl is hot, he thinks, so I wouldn't be upset if she kissed me. How, then, could I be upset by her saliva getting in my mouth by other means?
As she turns to continue her storming-out, Scott responds, "That's okay. You're pretty hot, so I don't mind."
Bite of taco.
Stunned silence.

EDIT: Oh yeah... Mara recognizes me now. Crap.

Really, is there any fate worse than having "$5 Rebate With A Gun" stuck in your head?

It's a hold-up, man, get to the ground.

A couple days ago I posted this long, deep, involved entry on a whole shitload of stuff. Of course, as I clicked "Update" my wonderful new ISP decided to freeze up my Morpheus and commit a "Fatal Error" in it's own browser. Damn commie whores. So anyway, I won't even attempt to rewrite that entry. I'll just recap a little. I complained about how six industrial size boilers aren't enough to provide hot water for four showers. I then proceeded to blame my shower problems on the nutty security gaurd, labeling him "a complete loon." I said something about having a bad day and rambled for a while. I invited all who consider me a secretary to fuck themselves and wound it all up with a resounding "Your Mom." Then I went on to the random unnecessary comments to specific people. I noted that I agree with Kristin's denouncement of Chemistry, that I wanted to see vector's cool cow jammies, and that I had finally sent Zach the link to my journal. Of course, you can probably guess that AOL kept that email from reaching it's intended destination. Once again damn commie bastards. So that was the past, now my new entry.

Yesterday was the homecoming parade and pep rally. Lotsa fun there. Hmmmm... that probably sounded a bit too sarcastic. Oh well... I was with Bob for probably a couple hours, and we had excitement. Damn Sweet Breath drops! They burn and push the salivary glands to the edge of death. So then I went to set a haircut appointment for next week. Now that I have money I'm determined to never have a pseudo mullet again. Ever. On the way I ran into some friendly neighborhood freshmen. That was interesting. Apparently Devin's brother thinks the trees in town are plastic. Cooky. After setting up my appointment I ran over to the float building was going. There I met up with Lyss, Mag and Lisa. I got to hear some Reel Big Fish tunes before the float took off, but all the preps were in front with their Nellie and whatever the hell else they were listening to. Our float was covered in balloons and several of them popped before reaching town. Yay for intelligence! In town I saw Murph and El Matto. We took to the streets and ran about like paparazzi. Photography, ho!

Oh, I saw something that brought a tear to my eye. Pogs are coming back! Remember Pogs? I've still got scads of em in my closet. I'm retro! Apparently the youngins are discovering the fun of overpriced cardboard disks and the slammers with which to cast them into disarray. God bless kids. I've spent years trying to figure out how to engineer the return of the pog craze and leverage that power into world domination, and here they do it all by themselves. Now I must break out those old tubes and proclaim myself Pogmaster of the second wave! Leverage! Woot!

That's quite enough of that, no? Morpheus is working pretty well for me, but it's kinda slow, and sometimes the search and Traffic bars shade out for no reason. It pisses me off. Damnit. Hey, look at the time. Off I go to the homecoming crap. The PTA makes good hot doggins.
-Alex

I went to Jamie Demetri's place today. He was making another movie and needed a second actor. El Matto was there. I think I got Jamie interested in Penny Arcade. If only Gabe and Tycho could see my recruiting skillz...

Anyway, the movie was pretty interesting, but the stop motion was too fast. Oh, well. I got to play Max Payne and Shogun and Deus ex! Hoorah! Un-WACK! When I was playing Shogun, I was in a desperate battle, which I seemed to be losing. He told me I should order my troops to hold their positions. Here's what I said. "We will not hold position. We'll make the enemy hold his position. The only thing we're holding is the enemy. We're gonna hold him by the nose, and kick him in the ass! We will attack!" They just looked at me weird. I watched "Patton" again last night.

Speaking of which, "Patton" is my favorite movie. If you haven't seen it, see it! If you don't like war movies, too bad! This movie is grand! It makes me want to play war games. Shogun is one of the best war games I've played in a while. I want it.
IGNORE ALL WORDS BEYOND THIS POINT. I AM MERELY PISSED OFF BECAUSE MY WEBCOMIC IS A HORRENDOUS FAILURE. THANK YOU
I was going to do a post extolling my hatred of the disease ridden,syringe strewn, hellish wasteland of a certain state. Then I received the righteous fury of the residents of said state, as well as Jay & Silent Bob fans. That's right, the man has held me down. So I'll just say this. I hate the New Jersey Turnpike, the Garden State parkway, and all municipal right-of-ways and road crews associated with these roads. I will not specifically attack the state of New Jersey, nor will I attack it's people. However, I would like to express my contempt towards its government and founders. HA! Yell at me for that!
-Alex

Well, no webcomic today. Sorry, but it turns out it's not just Geocities that hates me. It's also AOL, Photoshop, PhotoDeluxe, PhotoImpact, and MS Paint. I had to completely restart AOL to get the decompressed graphics to work. Then, when I load the strip onto Geocities, only the top works. the bottom is just a weird black and white pattern. I tried to bring it back up on Photoshop to see if i did anything wrong. Cannot load: JPEG marker segment too short. Whatever that means. So then I try Photodeluxe. That is absolutely THE most useless heap of crappy code ever written by human programmers. There's no way to edit _anything_ in that program. Anyway, after I gave up on that, I tried to bring the strip up on my old standby, MS Paint. I got one of those illegal action things and had to close the program. Three consecutive times that happened. So then I switch over to PhotoImpact, which came with my scanner. That showed the same thing as geocities. God i hate my computer. I think I'll call it New Jersey from now on.
-alex

Anyway, I'm done with my building inspector job. For now anyway. I just went through the village files to redo them, but on Monday I start for the town. That's right I'm getting _everyone's_ files. Even you Holmesians! I think I'm corrupt...

I like money :) I got paid $400 for working two weeks. Fun fun. Fish and I split the cost of a scanner, but it isn't working. Boo Hoo
After we picked the scanner up at Best Buy we went to a concert at the Chance. My God do I love concerts. The Model Citizens, The Blackouts, Pro Monroe, Next II Nothing and The Schematics played. They all rocked completely. The schematics poured water on me. I saw PJ from Fizzlewink. That man is my hero. He gave me a spiffy necklace, but I had to return it to its' rightful owner. Neither of us know who she was. After the show we stopped at a Mobil station because we were all dangerously dehydrated. There's nothing like Sprite, Beef jerky, and Almond Joy at 1:30 AM.

Of course, not everything is peachy in my life. Fizzlewink picked up a fifth member so they're changing their name. It's kinda sad.

Did you ever know someone so annoyingly persistant you want to kill them? I met this kid last year. He seemed pretty cool, so I talked to him for a while. We wound up hanging out a few times, we went fishing, I went to his house, etc... I never heard from him again. The other day he called me. So I talked to him. We didn't really say much. The next day I got home from work early(11:00) and went on the computer. A few minutes later he called again. I wound up spending the rest of the day talking to him. I tried to politely drop some hints that I didn't want to talk anymore, but he wouldn't give up. He kept trying to pressure me into trying to set him up with my friends. He's just a short, horny little kid. I got pissed off, so when he called one of his friends, I played a little joke. I told her he was spying on her, and was trying to get me to help. He didn't think it was funny. The kid almost started crying. He guilted me into calling another one of my friends, but he didn't say anything. He's spineless, too. He tried to make me give him my ticket to the concert because my friend wouldn't go out with him. I'm now into day three of his phone blitzkrieg. He has attempted to invite himself to stay at my house overnight and go to the mall with me. It's really getting annoying. Last year he seemed funny, but now he's just immature. Anyway, I'll see you all later.
-Alex